


If Only...

by LiraelClayr007



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Feels, Episode: s09e06 Heaven Can't Wait, M/M, Pining, Poetry, Regret, Sharing a Bed, The Fanfic Gap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:12:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22637329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiraelClayr007/pseuds/LiraelClayr007
Summary: If only he hadn't had to kick Cas out of the bunker.If only it could always be like this.If only he didn't have to say goodbye.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 23
Kudos: 20





	If Only...

_Come on, “Steve.”  
Let’s get something to eat._  
Dean laughs at his own joke.

Cas looks out the window,  
at his hands,  
at the door handle.  
Anywhere but at Dean.

_I don’t have any money,_  
he mumbles.

_Hey, buddy.  
It’s on me._

Because Dean can’t say  
goodbye.  
Not again.  
Not yet.

So they each have  
a cheeseburger and  
a basket of fries and  
one beer  
(they stop at one  
because Cas is too new  
to this whole human  
thing).

And Cas  
smiles  
and Dean  
smiles back  
and it feels  
good and  
right.

Back in the car  
Cas says,  
 _You can just drop me  
at the Gas-N-Sip._

The silence is  
awkward.

Then,  
 _You can sleep in a bed  
for one night, Cas.  
Let me–_  
he clears his throat,  
tries again.  
 _Let me at least  
do that._

He won’t look  
at Dean, but  
Cas nods.

The motel room is  
small, and Cas  
flinches  
when he sees  
there is only one  
bed.  
He gestures feebly at the  
floor, but Dean  
shakes his head.  
An insistent no.  
 _I promised you a bed.  
It’s big enough  
for two._

When Cas comes out  
of the bathroom,  
wearing boxers and  
one of Dean’s t-shirts,  
hair dripping and tousled,  
Dean momentarily thinks  
the bed might not  
be big enough  
for two  
after all.

When Dean  
gets out of the shower,  
Cas is in bed.  
Curled on his side,  
facing the wall,  
vulnerable.  
Not asleep. Dean  
can see tension  
in every muscle.  
He steals under the  
covers, hesitantly  
rests a hand on  
Cas’s arm.

He thinks  
he hears Cas’s  
breath hitch.

_Just sleep.  
You’re safe here._

It takes a while,  
over an hour,  
but the tension  
eventually  
slips  
away,  
the breaths  
even  
out.

He sleeps.

Dean doesn’t sleep.  
He has  
forever  
to sleep.  
But in the morning  
he has to say  
goodbye  
to Cas.

So he  
watches.  
And he  
breathes.  
And he  
wishes  
nights  
could  
always  
be  
like  
this.

**Author's Note:**

> For the first ever round of the Supernatural Prompt Challenge!
> 
> Prompt: **A missing scene from canon you would like to see.**
> 
> Thanks, Vanessa, for being so awesome and encouraging and an all-around great friend. And for helping me choose a title!! ;)


End file.
